More than 2 million grandparents in the US are raising their grandchildren. While there can be a lot of joy and satisfaction, there are also many challenges facing grandparents.
Legal status
You should research your legal status when you are raising a grandchild. Without legal protection, you may find it difficult to obtain medical care, education, or financial assistance. Some legal options include adoption, legal custody, or guardianship.
Adoption: Adoption removes all rights and responsibilities of the birth parents. The grandfather becomes the father in the eyes of the law.
Legal Custody: When you get a custody order from the court, you are responsible for the day-to-day care of the child. Custody is awarded based on the best interest of the child. A custody order is never permanent. Parents still have legal rights, such as the right to visit the child, unless a judge denies or limits visitation. You may still need parental permission to make medical decisions or to enroll the child in school. The parents could regain custody again one day.
Guardianship: Being a legal guardian allows you to make important decisions for the child. You can enroll the child in school and give permission for a doctor to treat the child. A biological parent can go to court and ask that the guardianship be terminated. If this happens, the care and custody of the child is returned to the parents.
Ask a lawyer to help you decide the best legal status for you and your grandchild.
Finance
The costs of raising grandchildren will affect your finances. You can change the plans you have made for yourself, such as retirement or vacations.
Government assistance can help cover food, shelter, clothing, and mental health care. For example, your grandchildren may be eligible to receive Social Security if they have a disability or if a parent is deceased. Your grandchild may qualify for your state’s Children’s Health Insurance Program. He or she may be eligible to receive money from your state’s Temporary Assistance for Needy Families program.
Each state has its own programs to help children. Contact your state Department of Human Services or Social Services to find out what is available in your area. It is important to look for programs that can help with financial burdens. Using savings and trying to work while caring for young children can be a stress that many grandparents can’t handle for long.
Accommodation
Your house may seem too crowded after your grandchildren move in. Some apartments and senior communities do not allow small children. You may need to move or look at other options to better meet the needs of your new living situation.
Education
Check with your local school to find out how to enroll your grandchild. Some states will not allow you to enroll a child unless you have legal custody or guardianship. In other states, you only need to prove that your grandchild lives with you. After you enroll your grandchild, meet the child’s teacher.
Health
Children need regular checkups and immunizations. Many times, children may have physical or mental health problems that need special attention. You may be able to get help from your state Medicaid program. Medicaid pays the health care bills of people with low income.
You should also take care of your own health. Take time each day to relax. Get regular checkups and take your prescribed medications. Ask friends and family for help. Join a support group.
Dealing with birth parents
Depending on the situation, you may be very angry and have lost respect for your child. It may not be easy to help your own child while he tries to take care of his grandchildren. However, for the sake of his grandson, he tries to keep the lines of communication open with the parents. If you are concerned about harm to your grandchild, be sure to take precautions and follow court orders to allow only supervised visitation. Don’t put your grandchild at risk.
deal with children
Children may worry about their parents, feel guilty because they are afraid that they caused the parents’ problems, or fear that something might happen to you.
You may feel sorry for your grandchildren. It can be hard to say “no” or set limits. Or he may feel that he has to be stricter than he was with his child, so that his grandchildren don’t have the same problems. You may be wondering where you will find the energy to help the children with their schoolwork or attend school activities.
The most important thing to remember is that there are organizations and people who understand what you are going through and want to help you.