The shattered dreams of divorce

Two of the hardest things about being a parent who is going through or has already been through divorce are: 1) When you get married, you think you have a loving partner, a best friend, and a soul mate to raise your family together for. rest of his life. life … and then one day your dream just went away; and 2) Realizing the potential lifelong emotional and psychological impact on their children, but not knowing what to do about it.

Did you sign up for the emotional pain of divorce? Frustration, pain, pain, anger, anxiety, loss of confidence, loss of family, pain, worrying about your children?

Of course not! The emotional pain is overwhelming and paralyzing, and the impact on your children can be devastating.

Divorce is a difficult process, even if your separation is amicable.

An assumption that many people make when divorcing is that their partner will be truly reasonable and will be able to work together to avoid the financial and emotional impact on themselves, their children, and the entire family.

One of the most tragic ironies of divorce is that trust and integrity are often replaced by resentment, anger, anxiety, and spite. It is human nature to take revenge on someone who has hurt you.

The tragedy of this subconscious determination is that the main people it hurts are you and your children.

So how do you consciously change things to have a more beneficial impact?

Since the 1990s, divorce rates have increased at an alarming rate. Among adults 50 and older, the divorce rate has doubled. (Based on statistics from the National Center for Health Statistics and the US Census Bureau).

Why is the divorce rate skyrocketing?

I think the reasons are a combination of being conditioned during childhood, lack of awareness, and a tendency to be self-centered.

I’m not sure exactly when things started to change for my ex and me from the dream of being lifelong partners, but WOW, things changed … quickly and dramatically!

We began to be together less and less, communications became minimal. We stop doing things for each other.

We scheduled a family trip with our 3-year-old daughter, hoping the situation would improve.

Upon returning home, we immediately fell into an even darker abyss. Shortly after, the ex told me to move house.

I was in complete shock! However, I was so fed up with the way things were between us that I said “okay!” I moved out, never to go “home” again.

It took me by surprise when a few months later the ex told me that she expected me to fight for her, so that we would be together. I was amazed that she played during such a challenging and difficult time for us and our daughter.

Reflecting on this moment, I realized that not only did I not want to get back together, I HAD NO IDEA on how to navigate what would be a truly bumpy and rocky divorce road. Neither does the ex.

The day I made a commitment to STOP reacting with anger and stay calm no matter what, was the day things started to change.

I began to maintain more control over my own reactive emotions. Initially, I had no idea that by changing my behavior, the ex would change hers for the next several months as a result.

We certainly weren’t perfect, but we definitely created a major improvement.

The most beneficial effect was on our almost 4 year old daughter, now 23 years old.

I thank God, my ex and myself that our daughter turned out so well despite the two of us. The lessons I learned from the never-ending challenges of our divorce situation have had a tremendous impact on my life.

For me, the change started when I realized that I did NOT want to continue down the same dark path and I knew that I needed to get Clarity for what I really wanted for my daughter.

This, in turn, prompted me to realize the importance of Forgiveness, first and foremost for me. This helped me to let go of the dark emotions that were consuming me and to turn the energy into my commitment to stay calm.

What can you do to learn to let go of dark emotions?

Learning from someone who has been where you are and not only survived, but thrived is the best way to save time, avoid additional pain and hurt, and discover how to create the change you really want for the sake of your children.

My wife Laurie and I have been through the pain, agony, and challenges of divorce. We have worked with counselors and coaches, we have read books, we have written a journal, we have deepened our faith and we have done the work for ourselves.

We created The EX-Factor brand and philosophy for the sake of divorce children … and for your sake as a parent.

Our sincerest mission is to help loving parents like you learn to let go of anger, frustration, regret, resentment … and heal pain … so that you can move forward based on the understanding that everything what you say and do how a parent teaches and impacts their children. When you get clarity on what you want for your children, you can make a plan to make it happen.

My book “Divided Harmony: Converting the EX Factor from Chaos to Compassion” led us to design and create “The Course of Creating a Harmonious Divided Master”.

The course is an online video course that guides you step-by-step through four proven life-based principles to create a more harmonious divided environment between you and your ex for the sake of your children, the innocent victims of the divorce.

The Master Course of Creating a Harmonious Split

Register now and feel the difference tomorrow!

(Go to the author’s resource box to access)

STOP the excruciating emotional pain!

STOP the financial drain on divorce attorney fees!

Take a step forward and put your kids first!

Let yourself go and take control … of yourself and the underlying dynamic between you and your ex.

There is light at the end of the tunnel …

With sincere compassion,

Peter and Laurie Hobler

Our mission: to help divorced parents create an environment of divided harmony for the sake of their children.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Back To Top