Lower GPA, Higher Sleep, and Suicide Plan

– What is success?
~ It is being able to go to bed every night with a peaceful soul.
_Paul Cohelho
Life began with a race to beat those 250 million sperm. Technically we were all winners until we were born. So we live in a society where it is considered a crime if you want to be anything but a doctor or an engineer in your life. [no offend, I respect every doctor & engineer. But not everyone wants to choose these professions just because what people will say]. Engineering and MBBS degree: these are the words that make everyone happy. I remember, when I was 10 years old, I wanted to be an engineer because he seemed cooler. At that time he didn’t even know what engineering really is. But in my exam I used to write: “My goal in life is to be a doctor so that I can provide free services to the poor.” First of all, nobody becomes a doctor to provide free services (the exceptional ones are not counted as an example). Second, I had chosen to spell doctor as my life goal on my exam because the spelling of him was easier than the spelling of engineering. So less chance of being wrong, high chance of getting better scores, and my only real goal in life was to get a well calculated GPA.

Life began to show its true color when I came to know what engineering really meant. Math was fine when it was just numbers. Then the alphabets came along and ruined my math ability. I thought he was at home in physics, but he didn’t stay friendly for that long. And I never had a good relationship with chemistry. Therefore, my GPA was constantly declining. From a top student I was labeled as a below average student. And I still don’t know what to do about it. I don’t know how my friends (both of them) manage to secure good points and I feel like an idiot with them. The best (or worst) part is that I don’t really have a goal in life right now.

“It’s okay not to have a better point or title” – I consoled myself. Life will happen your way. No one knows the future, that’s for the best. A hen doesn’t know what will happen to her egg. Whether she will have life or be an omelette before you, nobody knows. But the hen does not stop laying eggs because of that. So why should she stop living my life? Let me live today first. In order to ensure that everything that is happening is my fault, I willingly choose this path not because I am pressured by some neighbor aunt.

Admit it; We all wanted to commit suicide at some point in our lives. But we didn’t because we weren’t brave enough. We are faced with this kind of situation, where we are afraid to be alive and accept death at the same time. A low GPA makes you understand that life is not worth living. An elevated dream will show you why you should live. Life is full of miracles. There are moments in our life, moments that are worth more than all the wealth of this universe. And we need to live just to witness those moments. We need all the pieces to solve the puzzle. Life is not a race. It’s a game. It’s not about winning, it’s about playing it. It is time for us to stop existing and start living.

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