The most heartbreaking and stomach-churning part of the breakup process is always the same: waiting for your ex to make that all-important first contact.
Sometimes it seems like that call will never come. It will seem like your ex doesn’t miss you, doesn’t even think about you, and will never text you again.
It’s easy to despair here. You will start to get so depressed that you will want to pick up the phone yourself. You’ll want to do the unthinkable – call them first. What you know, of course, is the world’s worst idea when trying to get it back.
So if your boyfriend hasn’t made contact, what can you do? Is that so? Or are there really methods and techniques you can use to get him to make that crucial first move in your direction?
After the breakup: a two-sided analysis
First of all, it helps to understand the anatomy of a breakup … from both sides of the situation. For both the person doing the dumping and the person receiving it, there are bad feelings, bittersweet memories, relief, remorse, and regret.
For the person initiating the end of the romance, the breakup can be a long-sought respite. Keep in mind that not everyone breaks up at the first sign of trouble, and some couples stay in a bad relationship for too long. Whatever caused the ending was probably the last straw. The decision to end things may have taken a long time to make, which means it won’t be easy to reverse it.
This is why instinctive breakups always make reconciliations faster. If your ex broke up with you over something small and stupid (a silly argument, etc.), getting it back will be easy. It’s a simple matter of fixing that little problem, or having the right party apologize, or whatever the case may be.
Although in the end the person who broke up with you has all the power. He has all the cards (for now) and holds the keys that can open the door to your past relationship.
On the other hand, the person who was abandoned has NO power. She is the loser in the breakup; Whether it’s been a long time or the breakup came out of the clear blue sky, the person on the receiving end needs to do several key things before getting back together is possible.
Learning how to shift the balance of power in your favor is key here. There are several good ways to do this, but you must do it correctly or you risk pushing your ex in the other direction.
However, both parties will feel pain. You will both feel remorse. Hey, something good came to an unwanted end. Think about it. If you went back to the first days or weeks of your romance and brought your ex there too, do you think either of you would want to let go of your relationship? Of course, no.
This is exactly why THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE. No matter what happened to embitter the romance and part you, there is always a way to turn back … a path that leads to exactly the way things were, regardless of what happened along the way. Yes, even if he cheated on you, or if you were unfaithful to him.
Quicker ways to make your ex miss you
Think about what it takes to miss someone. Can you miss them if they are always there? What if they are always at your fingertips, or just with a few key clicks on your cell phone?
Not so much, right? Because what it takes to REALLY miss someone is not seeing them for a while. Without talking to them. Not being able to contact them when you feel like it.
This is when you think of someone the most: when you can’t reach them. It’s human nature, really. Like when you want something the most when you know you can’t have it.
NOW you understand why your ex boyfriend doesn’t miss you right now; you really haven’t left. Your ex knows that you are still in love with him, or that you have hung up on him, and he knows that he can contact you whenever he wants. Instead of missing you, they are provided with a nice and comfortable safety net for the breakup. Without even saying much, you’re letting them know that they can have you back in the blink of an eye (or with the touch of a few buttons).
To get your boyfriend interested again, you need to shake his confidence. To make him want you, you need to be scarce. Rare. Valuable.
Talking to your ex boyfriend after the breakup
If you had your ex contact you first, good for you. It’s a great sign that he misses you a lot, and if you’re looking to get him back, you’re already halfway there. That said, you still have work to do.
But even if you haven’t gotten him to call first? That is still fine. There are reasons you can use to contact your ex, as long as you have gone the required amount of time without contacting your ex. Yes, this is difficult. Yes, it is painful. But if you want good results when you finally call him? You’ll want to make sure you stay away from ALL contacts for at least this long.