When a guy breaks up with you, it’s not always the end. Most of the time, we are tired of stress and fights; we just want a break from constantly having to deal with that stuff. Sometimes we end up with a girlfriend to date someone else, and while this hurts more than usual, at least it’s better than being cheated on.
Regardless of how your relationship ended, if you want to get an ex boyfriend back, you’re going to have to learn what to do…and what NOT to do. Below are some deep insights into the male mind; essentially what we are thinking right after the relationship ends.
First of all, we want to avoid you. Right after a break up, things are weird for us. Seeing you can be extremely awkward, which is why your ex suddenly seems ‘cold’ immediately after your relationship ends. He’s not being mean, he’s doing this for his own reasons, not yours. A guy doesn’t want the conflict or scrutiny that comes from seeing you after the relationship, so it’s easier to avoid.
Making yourself scarce right now will go a long way in winning a man back. If you can somehow get out of sight, we suddenly wonder where you went. crazy right? But it’s true. As much as we feel uncomfortable with you, we still want to know where you are… what you’re doing… who you’re with. Even though we initiated the break up, any residual feelings can still cause jealousy. One of the most comforting things for a guy is to see his ex-girlfriend annoying him, at home and alone. He makes us feel like we made the right decision.
But on the contrary, seeing you with friends and having fun is like poison for us. No guy wants to think that a girl has more fun without him than with him. Even if he himself is convinced that he has no feelings or needs a break, seeing his ex smiling and laughing right after a breakup is a huge blow to his ego. This leads him to wonder: if this girl was so much fun, why the hell did I leave her in the first place? Getting your boyfriend back is all about putting him in this frame of mind.
Another great theme after the breakup: contact. While we’re still in the awkward early stages, we don’t want to talk to you just yet. However, that’s not to say we don’t want you to call. Again, a guy always wants to know that he’s still wanted. Seeing your number on his caller ID is ego feed for him. This verifies that you are lonely and that he is satisfied that you are not going anywhere while you keep calling his phone.
On the other hand, looking at his phone and not finding any missed calls is very unnerving for a guy who just broke up with his girlfriend. Wait to see you call. He waits for an email, a text, or a friend of yours to come talk to him on your behalf. But by NOT doing these things, you have once again piqued his interest. You have shaken his expectations and done the exact opposite of what he thought you would do. Just by doing nothing, you have him wondering.
You see, no matter who he is or how long you’ve been dating, any guy who breaks up with you wants only one thing: to keep the door to their relationship open. Even if it’s open just a little crack, the fact that the door isn’t fully closed is comforting to him. Weeks, months, even years later, a guy likes to think that he can revisit that relationship IF he wants to. Knowing that neither of you closed the door keeps him comfortable: he won’t think too much about getting back into a serious long-term relationship unless he’s worried.
This is where you can take some control. There are ways to close that door, or at least almost. By taking that control, you are suddenly upsetting his comfortable position of being able to review his relationship and date you again if it suits him. By moving on with your life and allowing him to see it, you are very slightly closing that door in your direction. This is what will make your ex want you back: the thought of you not being there anymore, even in the smallest capacity.
