Divorce brings immense psychological stress to the family, but no parent should be willing to let it affect their children. But the disputes that materialize in the separation and eventually the dissolution of the marriage often trickle down and affect the children and possibly make them part of the custody fight. In such a scenario, no matter who wins, the children lose one of their parents, their joyful emotional state, and their playful childhood. However, you do have the option to keep your children out of the stressful legal process and secure their future while giving your childhood a chance to flourish and rejoice despite the pain of divorce.
Instances where children are brought to the legal battle
· Protracted and contested divorce proceedings
When a divorce proceeding is hotly contested with the aim of destroying the other spouse, it creates a kind of legal battle that ultimately affects the entire family, including the children. Similarly, protracted legal fights over property, custody, and maintenance can affect friends, siblings, children, and family members.
· Child Custody Issues
Child custody proceedings are obviously the area where children come directly to the forefront of the divorce fight. The emotional bond with children encourages spouses to challenge each other, which can rob children of their peace and joy. Often, the custody fight becomes an ego battle that affects all parties concerned.
· Ongoing visitation rights and issues
Acrimonious divorce fights can continue after the divorce in the form of ongoing disputes regarding visitation with the children. Although the judgment and court orders are considered final, spouses often fight to block access, during and after the divorce, failing to respect the wishes and needs of the child in the process.
· Fight for property, finance
The struggle over property and finances has three dimensions: property division, support obligations, and child support issues. While child custody and visitation issues are officially separate from financial issues, often one or both parties allow financial issues to guide their decisions regarding a custody and visitation battle.
Things to Focus on During Child Custody Cases
1. Always remember that bitter battles are not the solution to the issue of child custody. The court finds in favor of a spouse only when he is satisfied with the protection of the best interests of the child. Therefore, consider allowing negotiation while the legal proceeding is taking place.
2. Physical custody does not end parental or parental rights. It is unfeasible for one to keep the child completely away from the divorced couple. Custody implies the primary right to care for and make decisions on behalf of the child. It does not mean that the non-custodial parent loses the right of access to her.
3. The child resides with the custodial parent, but both the father and mother continue to have the rights of natural, restricted, or unrestricted guardians. Any decision regarding the child must be approved by both parents.
4. Custody of young children may rest with the mother, but the court will give more deference to the opinion of the child’s affairs as the child grows older. No parent can claim an indisputable right over the child.
5. It is not economic status, but the ability to provide children with a safe and secure life that can foster the development of the child that wins custody of the children.
6. Ownership of money inherited by the child does not pass to the custodial parent, who ideally becomes the non-exclusive guardian until the child turns 18. Also, having the child does not guarantee unlimited money in child support or alimony. In states like Illinois, the family law provision has set certain guidelines for the court to reflect on when making a decision about child support.