Jack Hammond: Chew gum! Your breath smells like my grandmother’s feet.
– The Chase (1994)
In the last article I introduced the concept of the Chase. This is the mental model that we will use as the basis for the work that I will guide you through for the next three weeks. We will use it to simplify the sometimes confusing, complex and overwhelming field of love.
In this article, I will continue the work I started last time by giving you a few more key ways that each of you samurai-men can use the model to make things easier for you, as well as the mistakes to avoid.
The Hunt is a game. It’s not serious. That’s one of the biggest mistakes guys make. But not serious is not the same as silly. Second biggest mistake.
Think of a professional athlete. You play it honestly and with dignity. He plays hard. Never forget that it is a game. But play to win and you will get the best results.
Like I said last time, sometimes the best teachers are kids, because they don’t overcomplicate things. So let’s go back to the simple game of tag in our imaginations and look at five more ways to avoid cheating and get the most out of the game.
Who “it” is changes. Every game and every relationship at its root is the game of catch. You perform a task. Then you switch and do the opposite. You catch. So you pull. You are “it”. So “you are not that”. You speak, then you listen. You give and then you take. You chase and then they chase you. This is part of the fun. Learn to enjoy both roles. Get good at both.
Win or lose, that’s how you play. The kids who have the most fun are okay with losing. And don’t make a big deal out of it when they win. Well, these kids are weird. But that doesn’t change the fact that they have more fun. They get it. And so can you.
Play for the experience. Play to test yourself. Play to see what you’re made of and how good you can get. Try to win, but don’t get obsessed with winning. Winning is a test as much as anything else. It tells you how hard you’re working, but it can’t… it can never tell you who you are. Only you can do that.
Easy is not fun. But it is not impossible either. Exceptional guys play for the challenge. A girl who stretches them as a person. Who sees through the bullshit of her. A girl who is on her own adventure. But the exceptional guy has no time for the princess who makes him take off his stinky shoes outside and wash his feet before they can watch Walking Dead together.
Vicki Vallencourt: Well, men are supposed to have stinky feet.
– The water carrier (1998)
The goal is a good game. Which is a good experience for everyone. The exceptional man lives his values and his priorities in every game. They are a path that he knows it is a privilege to follow. He knows they will serve him and those lucky enough to share his adventure with him.
Can you say the same? If not, what’s stopping you?